break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
