u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
