just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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