On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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