Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize