He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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