Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A+ Viking dick
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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