PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
