i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
