You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i believe in u and ur pee
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