Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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