happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize