My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
