I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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