It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
