Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
