you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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