At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
