I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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