i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
