Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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