So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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