Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
