from now on my penis is your penis
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
