She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize