So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
