well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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