from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sext me about skeletons
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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