doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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