are you still at the devil's house?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
