I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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