sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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