"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
