His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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