And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
