so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize