I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
