My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
