Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
"it" just moved
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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