my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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