We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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