Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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