you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
