youre lurking in front of me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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