There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
