He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
