Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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