.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
