But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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