i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
now i know why i became what i already was.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
be right there i have to get my cape
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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