I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He shit in the fireplace
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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