gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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