No awkward lesbian experiences without me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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