Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
foreskin is a definite game changer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Bring me that man meat
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
