you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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