They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
