I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
