I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
