dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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