I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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