Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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