Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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