We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
