just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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