Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
